I remember I bought a bra and a control panty as well as tights, a pair of three-inch high-heeled sandals and a knee length skirt. I had already experimented in the past with a wig, which Anne had, and with make-up. I dressed and made up, borrowing a full slip and a knitted top with a cowl neckline, and having looked at myself in a full-length mirror. Eventually I managed to convince myself that I looked enough like a woman to be able to go out dressed.
The main problem was getting out of the house without the neighbours noticing me. What I eventually did was, put on the make up, including false nails, dress in the underwear, tights and top, which could be covered up by a coat. I put on the skirt but tucked it up under the top and then wore jeans and trainers to leave the house. I put all the other things I would need, including a handbag, into the car before I dressed so that I was ready. I then locked the door, got into the car and drove to a deserted country lane where I parked.
I removed the jeans and trainers, put on the wig and put some water filled balloons into the bra. I then put on the shoes and opened the car door.
I can still remember the feeling as I stood up and smoothed down the skirt. The air blowing around my legs. The way the heels of the sandals changed my posture. Here I was for the first time dressed as a woman in the open air in daylight. I walked around the car just to feel the sensation.
I got back into the car and realised that I had never driven in high heels before. After a few tries and some reversing and manoeuvring on the country road, where thankfully there was no traffic, I worked out how to drive safely. I then decided that as I was out I should go for a drive. I was very self-conscious at first but as I realised that no one in the oncoming cars or in the cars around me was really taking any notice of me I gradually increased in confidence.
Eventually I decided to visit a local stately home and drove along the drive and into the car park. There were not too many people about as I arrived so I managed to get out of the car in what I thought was a fairly ladylike way, retrieved my handbag from the front seat and closed and locked the car door. I put my car keys in my handbag and then heart a flutter set out to walk towards the house.
It was now that I realised that I was putting myself into a situation where I was not sure what was going to happen. The time was about 10 am and there were a few people about but not that many. It was summer so I was not going to look out of place because I did not have a coat but I was suddenly very conscious that I was not really dressed for walking around the grounds of a country house.
I stopped about five yards away from the car and started to go back but something made me want to try and see if I had enough courage to walk around the outside of the house before I came back to the car. I turned back and began to walk towards the house once more.
As I walked I tried not to swing my hips too much or to over-stride. The skirt helped with the latter as it was quite tight around the knees so it restricted the length of my stride. I also tried to put my shoulders back and look up rather than looking down. In the walk to the house I managed to develop a fairly easy stride and to some extent I managed to relax a little.
The day was sunny and warm with a slight breeze which kept blowing the hair of my wig across my face so I had to keep throwing my head back a little to clear it away. The ground in the car park was not paved or tarmac covered which meant that I had to be a little careful in how I placed my feet but as I approached the house I stepped onto a paved path with large paving slabs. Here I could listen to the sound of my heels as I sauntered along towards the house. Even thought there were a number of people around I did not meet anyone on the walk to the house. I was still a little nervous as to whether anyone would “suss” me out and what would happen if they did as I came to the end of the path and reached the house.
The house is three storey Elizabethan courtyard style building in brick with paved walkways around the outside leading to garden walks and eventually leading to ornamental gardens and ponds. The path I had been following led to a corner of the building so I began following the walkway around the building. In front of me were a number of wooden benches some of which were occupied. My heart began to race as I approached the people seated there and I concentrated really hard in making my walk and manner as feminine as I thought I could.
The first bench I reached had an older couple sitting on it. They were looking at the gardens laid out in front of them and smiled at me as I approached and passed them and I looked at them and smiled at them. I really wanted to run away at that moment I was so afraid but realised that it would make things worse and also I was going to find it difficult running in the tight skirt and high-heels so I continued on around the house and past the other benches.
In fact no one seemed to take much notice of me. One woman looked at me but I think I was expecting someone to suddenly stand up pointing and shouting out, ' Look everyone it's a transvestite,’ but no one did.
At the far end of the house the land falls away and there are some steps down to another level and as I approached them two women with a group of children were coming up them. I stood to one side as they came past and one of the children said 'hello' to which I smiled back at him as he ran off. I also smiled at the two women who smiled back as I turned towards the steps.
It was at this moment that I suddenly realised that I had never really walked down steps in high heels without having a handrail. At home I had been up and down the stairs, which had a handrail, many times but these were stone steps, which had no handrail. When I looked at them I realised that they were fairly narrow so I would have to turn slightly sideways so that I could get the whole of my foot on the steps. On reflection this is probably the way to descend stairs but at the time I did not know this.
I descended the steps and continued around the next side of the house until I reached the corner where I had to ascend a flight of steps similar to those I had descended earlier. I found that going up the steps was easier than descending as I could put the ball of my foot on the step and walk up them, the heel did not have to touch the step.
Having turned the corner to come up the steps I now found myself, after a short distance, in the entrance to the courtyard. The main entrance to the house was in this area and by now I was feeling pretty good about myself. No one had objected to me walking about so I decided to look around the inside of the house.
There was no one else around and as I walked across the courtyard towards the main entrance the sound of my heels echoed from the walls. Unfortunately, or fortunately, as the case may be the house was closed. This could account for the few people who I encountered. So I had to turn around and continue my sojourn around the house, once again listening to the echo of my heels from the walls.
At the next corner there was a choice of routes and I decided not to head straight back to the car but to walk towards the stable block which had an exhibition and a cafe. This meant descending steps again which I managed quite well. The exhibition was closed due to refurbishment but the cafe was open and I walked past a few people sitting enjoying their snacks. Once again none of them seemed to take any notice of me.
Once past the café I followed the path around a corner and continued on following a sign for the car park. This led past a building which was being renovated and as I passed one of the workmen called out something like 'Hello darling. Fancy one then?'
I increased my pace and eventually arrived back at the car park and headed towards my car.
As I approached it another car pulled across the car park and parked next to mine and two people got out. This meant that I would have to pass very close to one of them to get to my car which I did. I got in the car. Adjusted my skirt so it was not around my crotch. Started the car. Backed it up and drove out of the car park.
Once on the road I began to think about where I could go. It was still only late morning so I decided to go for a drive. This led eventually to another country house where I parked the car and began walking towards the house.
This time there wee very few people around so I could walk quite easily along the pathways around the house. Eventually I ended up having to descend a few broken steps in between some trees. As I got to the bottom one my right heel snagged in a crack in the uneven step and I was forced to fling my arms out and hold myself against a nearby tree to stop myself falling. I pushed myself back and managed to dislodge my heel and was just pulling myself together when a gardener suddenly appeared and asked if I was all right.
It was now that I realised that I might think that I looked and perhaps acted like a woman but my voice just did not sound correct. In fact I had not really thought about how my voice sounded and had never really practised speaking.
I managed to sort of breathe that I was OK end thanked him for his concern. I then beat the hastiest retreat I could, considering how I was dressed, back to my car.
Once back there I decided to return to the first house I had visited but to park in a different car park and walk along the paths through the woods by the lakes and from there to the rose garden, where there were benches. I set off and after a short while I was back at the first house and drove the car park to a small, fairly secluded car park. From here a fairly steeply sloping path led down to the lakes through some trees.
When I got out of the car and onto the path I realised the problem that women have in negotiating inclines. The high heels I was wearing were already pushing me forwards making me alter the way I held myself. I found it quite difficult going down the slope and it took quite a bit of negotiating and time to do so. In fact I had to fling my arms out at times to maintain my balance. Luckily the slope was not too long and I reached the bottom without mishap.
Once at the bottom I began walking by the side of the lake. It was only a small lake linked to a larger one by a narrows that was crossed by a narrow stone bridge. There were only a few people about as I approached the bridge that was partially covered by a weeping willow tree obscuring the view of the opposite bank. This was the reason why, as I was just about to enter the confines of the narrow stone bridge, a young boy on a bicycle suddenly appeared and yelled, "Watch out!" Another boy on a similar bicycle followed him almost immediately.
I managed to lean out of the way by putting my left hand on the parapet and leaning backwards out of the way but in doing so my handbag fell on the floor. Once they were out of the way I squatted down to retrieve it. At the same time I noticed that the two boys fad stopped a little way down the path and were talking. I replaced my handbag on my shoulder and continued over the bridge. It was really nothing more than an ornament. It was just wide enough to allow one person at a time or one bike at a time to cross.
On the other side if the bridge the path continued around the lake but there were some long shallow steps leading up towards the rose garden. I took the steps. Each step was wide enough to allow a step up and then a pace before the next step and there was a handrail on the left-hand side, which I put my hand on as I ascended. I was almost at the top of the steps when I heard a wolf whistle from the two boys on the opposite side of the bridge. This sent a shiver down my back and made me feel good. I believe I paused for a moment before I continued to the top of the steps and went into the rose garden.
Here I found a bench and sat in the sun for a short while, trying to work out the most ladylike way to sit. I then decided that I had had just about enough excitement for one day and retraced my steps towards the car.
As I descended the steps I noticed that the two boys had disappeared and that no one else was in sight. Once on the bridge I stopped and leaned over the parapet and looked down at my reflection in the still water. I stood there for a while with the breeze wafting through my hair and around my legs and then I set off for the car.
Going up the hill was easier than coming down it as the heels tended to throw me forward into the hill and level it out a little. Nevertheless it was a steep little climb and I took a moment to rest once I reached the top.
A car had just arrived in the car park and was unloading two women and a multitude of small children who began running around as they got out of the car. They began walking towards me as I walked towards my car. I looked one of the women straight in the face and smiled at her and she smiled back.
Just as I opened the door of my car I heard one of the young children say "Mummy that was a man." Without hesitating I got into the car as quickly and as decorously as possible. Started the engine and drove out of the car park without looking back. What would I have done if they had challenged me? I don't know but it was a blow to my confidence, which had been soaring as the day, progressed.
I decided that enough was enough and made for the place where I had first changed into the woman I had been all the morning. Once there I removed the wig, the false breasts and the shoes. I tucked the skirt up underneath the top and dressed in my jeans and trainers. I then made my way home after quite an eventful morning's experience.
I do not have any pictures of this episode as the ones I took on my return to remember how I looked I destroyed on the next purge.